#BehindTheScenes 53 - Work/Home Life
- saraelliemackenzie82
- Mar 27
- 4 min read
I am a very lucky woman.
Wow, isn't this a great way to start a conversation?
As this #BehindTheScenes is going to tell you, the work/home life is different when you work in your home office. It's also a careful balance of time, energy, family, and housework. It's also why you mostly see pictures of my office, or see me opening things there.
It all began a long time ago, when my husband and I started living together. I was a new mom and Calvin was only a baby. My husband had his video games. He wanted me to have something all to myself. So, he got me a desk for my laptop, next to Calvin's main play area. That way, I could work on school classes, write and watch Calvin at the same time. It also began our selfies, but that's another story.
While I did not have a writing career then, I was learning how to balance what I love with my son. Sometimes, he sat on my lap and learned how to type on the laptop. Sometimes, he'd be with me while on a conference call for school. Multitasking was always a bonus, and I learned to take care of Calvin at his worst while handling my business. I had no help except a babysitter for when I went to work, nothing more.
At the time, Calvin was almost nonverbal. Nobody knew what was going on with him, and many specialists did not want to diagnose him until he had some services. That would come later, but that was another story...
Before I became self-employed as an author, Calvin was with that babysitter while we worked. Otherwise, he was with me or Brian. We took him everywhere, even the grocery stores. I figured that he had to learn about shopping sometime and I needed to get things done. Most of the time, he was pretty relaxed. Other times, Calvin was a nightmare. Brian would put him on his shoulder and just walk out to the car.
But then, we moved back to CT and, five years later, COVID hit...
At the time, I was working for the bank call center. I had to move my operations home, which ended up being my basement office. Calvin was home from school and we had to homeschool him or do video chats with his specialists. That was tough with the hours I had. Brian was not working at the time, so he managed most of the appointments, and I took over during my breaks. And let me tell you, my kid was not good with the video chatting while doing his exercises. He did like the morning meetings, at least!
It was endless balancing. It was endless communication over who was doing what and when. It was also a lot of emailing to my scheduling department. A lot happened in 2020, and it wasn't only COVID that got us. When you have a special needs child, it's always a juggling act to keep him from going anywhere and paying attention to a screen that isn't at school.
Add chronic illness and missing work. The finances falling apart. Taking in someone and having to fight with them. The heavy weight of everything on top of me - work, cleaning, cooking, childcare, grocery getter and teacher, all rolled into one super mom. And nobody wanted to take anything off my plate, even my husband. They did not understand.
This same routine, year after year, tired me. But I kept going and going until Brian's grandmother died the year after COVID began. After the funeral and being stuck on the sidelines handling Calvin (who we did not want at the funeral and we had no babysitter), I fell into this deep tiredness. I could not get up. Every time I walked or moved, I wanted to throw up. Everything hurt, and the repeated motion of dialing phones, using a computer and multitasking while your work computer crashes was soon getting too old.
I spent the years before (and since) job hunting and using career counseling. Even my mental health facility helped. After nearly two years of this (and this was after COVID), I decided to focus on my self-employment. Nobody wanted my services. I had a degree that nobody understood and automatically assumed was education based only. And because of a false accusation from my son's teacher, I cannot work with children again.
Brian and I also came to a crossroads. We realized that we were the help here and that nobody had any intentions of being there for us. While I appreciate every gesture made, I knew that they were not for me, it was for my husband and Calvin. And we did not have the money to pay in for childcare services with the state. That was when we decided I would stay home with Calvin and write.
And the rest, they say, is history.
While it's easier to get up and tend to my child when he needs me, it's still irritating to have someone constantly interrupt you while you are trying to write, or you are forced up in the middle of a scene. I have lost so much that way. But being with my son makes it worth the while. I always said that the days are long and the years are short.
Sometimes, I want those days to last a little longer...
Namaste, everyone! Have a wonderful day!
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