Chronically Writing - The Unexpected Turns

Life brings me a LOT of unexpected turns.

Growing up, my parents hung out with various people, and they brought their friends to other gatherings. I met people from all walks of life, and all of them with the same disease: trauma. All of them loved each other, but had been at each other's throats for a long time. It was familiar, though, and they were adult enough to drink/smoke it away or just kept away/told they're not welcome.

As I thought when I saw them growing up.

My parents were never huge partiers when I was growing up. It took a LOT of years to pass for them to loosen up, and even then, my father did not want to touch anything toxic. I have my own theories about it, but that is another story.

Anyway, there was someone there named Charissa (not her real name because I don't want her picked on). I remember meeting her because she was the new daughter-in-law to a friend of my father's. She was quiet. I did not know much else about her other than she was around the same circle of friends, she eventually divorced and she took primary care of their child.

There were a few other times we met. My husband and I homeschooled Calvin for a year because the New Britain school system would not tell us about special education options (amongst other things, another story for another day). Charissa was part of the local homeschooling group because her child has special needs that could not be met in the public school system. Afterward, it was a few gatherings.

Back in March, I received an unexpected message from Charissa. She was involved with a nonprofit, Pillwillop in Wolcott. They were hosting an event in late September and she wanted to meet and discuss the details. She honestly wanted authors to join in.

I was awed. She knew that I was having difficulties with my sales, and Charissa thought it was a chance for me to make connections. While the event is far away, we began making plans, first talking about it at a pub here in town.

Which was a blast, BTW.

IYKYK downtown was where we met. Drinks and dinner. The restaurant was dimmed and the staff absolutely perfect. Candles everywhere. And phones lighting up to see the menus. It was the first time I drank for a dinner in a LONG time. I was cautious at first. Little sips. I did not want to go into the wild abandonment my younger self had.

But the unexpected turn had come.

This woman, who hardly knew me, invited me for drinks and food and to talk business. Charissa explained Pillwillop too. It was an alternative kind of healing proven to work - dancing, singing, artwork and more. The more Charissa explained about the healing through art, the more the organization and its event soon became close to my heart.

One of my autistic traits is observing the atmosphere and assessing how the person interacts. Unless I practice and know I am supposed to present something, I follow the other person's lead and then set boundaries that way. I never felt that way with Charissa. She too was quiet until she felt more comfortable.

Once we were more comfortable, there was the silly girl things. Hitting the vape hard. Charissa and I have not talked in depth like this. Ever. And it was refreshing to know there was someone out there with the same difficulties as I did. Autism. Unloving parents. Life with one child. Extended family issues. Chronic illness.

It was that last part that I felt linked us the most. Being moms and having mental and physical difficulties. They were not dissimilar. There was the isolation and the misunderstanding. Having to tough it out alone for years. The hardships of having partners and being without. How life went shitty and how life looped right back up again.

If you've ever seen two neurodivergent people find peace with each other, it's a beautiful feeling. Being safe with someone is the biggest relief, especially when you've been through trauma. And it was perfect. For a night, one woman reached out to another and showed her something new that might help.

And that is the best unexpected turn...so far.

If you want more information about Pillwillop and the event, please go here.

Namaste, everyone! Have a great rest of your weekend!

#ChronicIllness #HangingOut #JustUsWomen #Autism #Moms #FamilyLife #HelpMe