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#BehindTheScenes 39 - Gaming II

This is a weird #BehindTheScenes this Thursday. Previously, I've talked about myself, how life happened and the weird writing process. Now, I have another person piece: gaming. This is kinda tough because everyone has an opinion. And I know I did it before, but it's been a while since I've said something.

No, I don't believe that they teach violence or cause school shootings.

That is a ridiculous notion! I think, like with any pastime, it needs to be moderated. It relieves stress, builds relationships, and makes a great family game night once in a while. Growing up, I did not have that option open to me.

I recalled my father playing with an original PlayStation at a friend's house. That was it. It was never allowed at our home. Our whole TV experience was controlled and we did not have any voice. In some ways, it was good, because I saw some pretty raunchy things growing up. In other ways, I was feeling repressed and rushing to my cousin's house when I could. We watched South Park, Simpsons and the like.

Gaming came in the form of a PC. We used an old Windows 95 machine for YEARS and YEARS, until high school. All of the weird 90s games - Centipede, Frogger, whatever - were played and beaten just as many times. Still, we were not allowed anything past that. I was focused on other things in high school that gaming was not allowed in there.

Trauma sometimes does not give you a choice.

It was not until I moved out of my parents' house that I began to understand gaming. My husband was a gamer and carried some of his old systems with him. He was the one who taught me the value of not only hand and eye coordination, but also the different kinds of games.

These days, I have little time to play. However, when I do, it's on Big Fish (yeah, I have too many puzzle games). Sometimes, I will play with Calvin and Brian. There are days when I curse it. Other times, I am relieved.

Sometimes, the stereotypes you grew up with morph from an anthill to a mountain.

There are times where I have argued over gaming. On those days, I feel like all I do is clean and work. Everybody else is glued to a TV, watching or playing. That annoys me and the child in me cries out about the fun I was denied and why I was always stuck doing the hard work.

Trauma never made sense.

It reminds you of the lacks in your life and what you can never get back (a better childhood and perhaps an apology). But coming back to earth, I remember that this was a way to relax and it's ok for somebody else to play. I am not living in a situation where I was cleaning while everyone else settled down. I am not somebody's maid.

Gaming is not something to be angry over. It is something to heal with, to learn from, and to be inspired by. It is for those like me who have experienced a life of mental and physical torture. Another world and another character takes you away the same ways that a book can too!

And for that, I can appreciate it.

Namaste, everyone! Have a great day!

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