Hi, everyone, and welcome back! For those who are coming here for the first time, salutations! I am Sara Ellie MacKenzie, local indie author and newly-diagnosed as autoimmune, with Multiple Connective Tissue Disorder. If you need more info about the disease, please click here.
Otherwise, let's talk about those good days...
Unfiltered.
Today is one of those so-called good days. The line in the meme where it says, "I think it's fine, we're good..." I feel like...
I got up without much trouble. I was able to make breakfast without starving myself until noon. Actually, everybody got breakfast. I was tired after that, but was able to do some clean-up and laundry. Right now, I am sitting here on my computer, taking a rest from that, I am typing this.
It is difficult for me because I have very limited help. My father is dead. My mother and in-laws have extreme conditions and I do not play games. Friends have moved on or have other concerns that they are focused on. Other family members are out of state or they are sick or are caretakers. We have someone dear and he comes once a week.
Many people say to pace yourself. Do what you can. Set smaller goals. And I think that is what a good day is all about. I always add that everybody's best is always different, though.
For example, I look at this picture and think: ouch. This was last night, while it was raining. My best was different then. Even though it is harder to get my rings on today (and I chose not to wear any), this is a great day.
Why?
I have come to a point where I can confidently whiz by while in pain. I can take breaks and not look at a queue of people, waiting for me to take their call. The pacing, even when I am slow, reminds me that the world still goes on. Even when I feel rushed at the store, I am realizing (also slowly) that it is me that is hurrying away, not the people behind me pushing me.
Do you know what else makes this a great day?
I could do something for my husband for once.
But that is the empath in me talking. It makes me feel happy to help others. I am learning boundaries and any trauma survivor will tell you that it is hard to keep them. Back to the good days, though...
For a few moments, I was the normal mom. The smiling mom. The happy mom. It's not that I am those every other day. I just felt it more today than most other days. That, and I love the peace. There is no space filled with yelling and snide comments.
Wet sand isn't so bad, is it?
Namaste, everyone, and have a great rest of your weekend!