Hi, everyone! It's Thursday again and we are #BehindTheScenes. Today, I want to talk about being a mom. You can call me a working mom, but I do not like that title. We have working parents everywhere (nonbinary, male, female, etc.), so you can't just pick on women.
Well, I will begin by saying that I work from home and have since 2020. The pandemic initially forced my call center job to be moved to my office. I worked there until late 2021, went on leave, and quit the job in April 2022. This meant that I was with my son, Calvin.
I am going to say this once: we have very little support. Growing and maturing meant that I shed those who do not help me. I do not mean financial help, I mean emotional. Being a trauma survivor used to have me searching for validation from everyone. Now, I have learned to cope with doing it myself and being grateful to receive any assistance.
Saying that, I was young when Calvin was born (not a teen, early twenties). When he was not even five months old, I left my parents' home and moved to Maine with my husband. We returned to CT a few years later to find that we had nobody to call on. A lot of the detraction is that our son is autistic, which is a shame.
Calvin is a smart and empathetic young man. My mother said he was not a difficult baby, and he was not. With the autism, though, we ran into some snags (which I am sure many special needs parents can relate to). As a young mom, all I had was the horrible example my parents had. Thankfully, it did not get too far.
When you are used to being the person who serves, you don't think of yourself. My mind is always on Calvin. What is going to help him? Have I taught him valuable lessons? Imparted better examples of how to be a better person, to communicate clearly, and to ask for help? Have I allowed him to be himself and not an idea of what I want him to be?
Yes, I did the usual stupid things before Calvin was born. I never thought of them since. It was such a short time and so long ago that I forgot, for a long time, what it was like to be a person. As Calvin has grown, though, he is learning who he is...and so am I.
Growing up with your kid sucks, everyone.